Tag: How To

Interview with FBI Negotiator – Slate

We feel like if we demonstrate understanding we are exposed. And we’re scared to death of that. You’re doing that because you’re a human being and you have something in the middle of your brain called the amygdala. Many people [think of it as] my caveman brain. The amygdala is wired to be 75 percent negative. So your survival mode is wired to always overreact negatively to everything you’re faced with until you learn the difference between survival and success. We’re not wired for success as human beings, we’re wired to survive and that’s why, having not gone down this path before, your initial instinct—your caveman wiring—is “I’m exposed. I’m going to have to give in.” But tactical empathy—expressing the situation from [the other person’s] side—does more for you than it does for them. And, it takes away the stress [of negotiations].

Charles Duhigg
How To Win Arguments Like an FBI Hostage Negotiator

The Craft of Writing Effectively

Lei Xun – My takeaways:
1. This course is not about writing rules, rules are for low-value writings 3:04
2. Stop thinking about rules and start thinking about readers 3:55
3. The problems that domain experts have in their writing 4:00
4. Domain experts use writing to help themselves with thinking 4:51, if they don’t do it this way, they can’t think to the level they need
5. The challenge: the way that experts do their writing (to help with their thinking) is different to the way that readers can understand 6:53
6. The consequences 8:10 – 1. readers need to slow down and re-read many times 2. readers can’t understand or misunderstand 3. readers give up
7. Readers read things that are valuable to them 11:52
8. Writings need to be clear, organized, persuasive and VALUABLE 13:45
9. Valuable to the readers of a research area (not everybody in the world) 15:20
10. An example of comparing two writings 17:16
11. Writing is not about communicating your ideas, it is about changing readers’ ideas 21:24
12. Nothing will be accepted as knowledge or understanding until it has been challenged by people who have the competence to challenge 23:24, this determines the readers of our writing
13. A piece of writing is important, not because it is new and original; It is because it has value to some readers 25:16
14. What does the world of knowledge look like 28:00
15. Every research communities have their own code to communicate VALUE 31:30
16. Why does it take 5-6 years to get a PhD? 34:30 50% of the time is used to know the readers in the field
17. Using these words to show that you are aware of the research communities: widely, accepted, and reported 35:24
18. Flow/transition words can help to make writing preservative and organized: and, but, because, unless, nonetheless, however, although, etc. 36:00
19. Do things under the code of the communities 42:00
20. Another example 44:25
21. The function of a piece of writing is to move a research area forward, not to be preserved for 500 years 46:54
22. Writing is not about to express what is in our head, it is about changing other people’s thoughts 48:50
23. The instability words that create tension/challenge: anomaly, inconsistent, but, however, although 54:00
24. Bad writing style: backgroud+thesis 55:07 and a better style: problem+solution 56:18
25. Learn the language code from the target publications 1:01:30
26. Literature review is used to enrich the problem 1:02:50
27. Problem vs background 1:06:47
28. Gap in the knowledge is dangerous 1:08:45
29. Identify the right readers (research communities) is important, but it could be difficult for interdisciplinary research 1:11:57

Uncomfortable Questions

what’s the most uncomfortable question you can ask someone? from AskReddit

Have you seen our toothbrush?

Just have a casual conversation about anything, corona, politics, grandparents and ask immediately afterwards “Anyway how’s your sexlife?”

The Room has taught me a lot about life.

Are you uncomfortable?

“How come I wasn’t invited?”

I was once invited to a party…at the end of which the hostess asked me “how do you keep finding out about these?”

“Weren’t you pregnant?”

Where’s my hug?

Effective Complaining

  • Be clear and concise. Describe the item or service you bought and the problem. Include serial or model numbers, and the name and location of the seller. If you’re following up on a conversation, be sure to say who you spoke with and confirm the details of your discussion.
  • State exactly what you want done and how long you’re willing to wait for a response. Be reasonable.
  • Don’t write an angry, sarcastic, or threatening letter. The person reading your letter probably isn’t responsible for the problem, but may be very helpful in resolving it.
  • Include copies of relevant documents, like receipts, work orders, and warranties. You also may want to send copies of emails and notes from conversations you’ve had with the seller about the problem. Keep your originals.
  • Include your name and contact information. If an account is involved, be sure to include the account number.

via FTC
See also their sample letter: FTC – Sample Consumer Complaint Letter

How to Read Free ebooks on Your Kindle

Problem: I have an ebook but I didn’t get it from Amazon, so it isn’t sent to my kindle directly. What can I do?

Solution: Send it to your kindle using your kindle email address.

Example –

1. Get a book from Gutenberg.com and save it locally:


2. Send this file as an attachment to the email address of your kindle. You can find this on your Amazon account’s, Your Content and Devices section:

KindleEmailAddress - NEW

3. Sync your kindle and enjoy

Sitting better

Instead of focusing on the chest or shoulders, Sherer says, we need to turn our attention to a body part that is lower down, below the waist: the pelvis.
Or to put another way — your butt.
“The most important thing to change to reduce back pain is your pelvis position,” she says. “It’s like a stack of toy blocks. If the blocks at the bottom aren’t sturdy, then the top has no chance.”