To The Stoner Who Works At Cottage Inn Pizza
You: the guy who answers the phone at cottage inn pizza
Me: Hungry and stoned out of my gourd
I called you from my cell phone but had completely forgot who I was calling by the time you answered the phone. Of course, you were also baked to bajeezus and forgot to tell me that I had called Cottage Inn.
When you answered and said, “Whatsup?” I thought about it, and after a 20 second pause I told you that was hungry. You suggested I try a pizza, and I agreed that it was probably a good idea.
Then I asked you if you sold pizza and you said that you could make me one. I said I wanted anchovies and something else on my pizza. You asked me what that something else was.
We spent five minutes listing toppings until we figured out that I was trying to remember how to say: “Sun dried Tomatoes.” When you said: “We’ll bake that right up for you,” we both started laughing uncontrollably.
It was the best pizza I ever had; I just wanted to thank you for helping me out.
That’s when I discovered the wonders of Top Ramen, and after some experimentation I hit upon the perfect modifications to provide a filling meal for about a buck a serving:
HOLLYWOOD (NOODLE) BOWL
– Bring a pot of water to a hard boil.
– Add ramen noodles and a package of frozen mixed vegetables and cook for three minutes.
– Crack a raw egg into the boiling soup and let cook for an additional thirty seconds.
– Turn off hot plate and stir in powdered flavor packet from the ramen noodles.
Another discovery: for an occasional break from ramen, the low-rent hotel on my block offered a happy hour buffet. If you bought a beer, you could gorge yourself on pig-in-the-blankets, fried mozzarella sticks, and french fries.
That’s hilarious. When I worked at Quiznos a lady ordered 6 bowls of chili over the phone and showed up with a big pot to pour it in
About six years ago I saw a dude do this at a tim hortons with their soup.
It was potato something or other and he’s standing there trying to explain that he forgot about a pot luck at work and how much to fill his pot up.
My friend’s husband won a chili cook-off with brisket he got from a chain BBQ restaurant. I thought that was some real bullshit, especially because we live in Texas.
My dad won a chili cook-off with chili from a can once.
ApatheticCreative I won a chili cookoff once. I was prepared for serious competition. I watched a few low production value “award winning” chili videos on Youtube by guys with thick Southern accents who sounded like they knew what they were talking about when it came to chili. I took pointers from each video and used that knowledge to make the Voltron of “award winning” chilis. It was pretty damn good chili. I would give it a solid 8. Maybe a 9.
The competition was sad and depressing. Unseasoned ground beef water with beans. I probably could have won it with a higher quality canned chili. At the very least people raved about my own entry. It vanished. I had numerous requests for the recipe.
A federal judge struck down a Trump administration rule that would have reduced food stamp benefits to nearly 700,000 people.
In her Sunday ruling, U.S. District Court Chief Judge Beryl Howell wrote that implementing the change “radically and abruptly alters decades of regulatory practice, leaving States scrambling and exponentially increasing food insecurity for tens of thousands of Americans.”
As he paused in front of a seafood freezer, with its festively labeled bags of frozen shrimp, Mr. Lorr discussed the many ethical quandaries involving seafood, which Mr. Lorr saw firsthand, reporting from docks in Thailand.
Mr. Lorr interviewed immigrants from Burma, some of them former prisoners forced to toil unpaid on fishing boats. One worker, identified in the book as Tun-Lin, recalled watching his best friend beaten and tossed overboard when he became delirious from exhaustion. Others were whipped with stingray tails.
But there is not much that Americans can do as consumers to improve working conditions abroad, Mr. Lorr said.
“A boycott sounds compelling, but because of the volume and complexity of the supply chain, it’s overly simplistic,” he said. “There are so many good actors caught up with bad actors. Also, you boycott Thailand, or any country, and market pressures lead to the same problems cropping up somewhere else.”
1 in 7 kids in America struggle with hunger. This takes a profound toll on their health, their happiness, and their ability to find success in the future.
But ending childhood hunger is a problem with a solution. As a member of congress, you have the chance to help end hunger for kids in our country. Please support and protect the federal nutrition programs that provide children in need with consistent, reliable access to food.
This is important for kids; it’s also important for your state. When we make sure kids get the food they need, they feel better, learn more and grow up stronger. And that means a smarter, healthier, economically stronger state.
Programs like the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, school meals and WIC work together to make sure kids have access to the food they need, regardless of zip code, age or time of year. This is fundamental to ending childhood hunger in our state and across America.
I urge you to support these programs. Kids are counting on you.
You can go here and send this message to your lawmaker: No Kid Hungry