Tag: Reddit

What became so popular at your school that the teachers had to ban it?

Rulers. Year 10 in HS for whatever reason someone decided to smack a guy across the head with a ruler. Then everyone went out and bought a ruler.

Suddenly everyone was a knight with a sword. Staff kept confiscating them but rulers are cheap so kids just went out and bought them by the handful.

They ended up banning rulers. At a school. The kids who were taking geometry that year and needed them had to be assigned rulers at the beginning of class and then turn them back in.
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If you rub the metal edge of a ruler against the sole of your shoe really fast back and forth it gets hot enough to seriously burn someone and leave a scar.
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A kid did that to me back in 8th grade. Hurt like hell and left a mark that took a decade to fade. I was pissed!
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When I was in elementary a girl took one of those rulers with the raised rubber grip on the flat side and rubbed it up and down in the middle of her forehead really fast. Ended up leaving a scar at least until end of highschool. None of us ever understood why she did that.

Edit: thank you, kind stranger, for the gold. I’m very happy this poor girls misfortune could get me a Reddit award. Stay strong, she-who-shall-not-be-named.
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Kids did that with erasers on the back of their hands at my middle school! They’d rub until they had an open wound and they’d just keep it up so that it never healed. School couldn’t ban erasers, but kids with open wounds on the back of their hands got in trouble. And this wasn’t the emo crowd doing this, the most popular kids in school started the trend. I thought it was stupid in middle school, and now as an adult I’m honestly concerned about the girls who started the trend…
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I had a girlfriend in high school do took an eraser and rubbed my initials into her arm when we broke up. I think that only reinforced the fact that I made a good decision to break things off.

reddit

Things that enrage

Someone telling me to go do something that I was going to do anyway. If you tell me to go do the dishes as I’m walking to go do them, I no longer want to do the dishes. I have no idea why this makes me as enraged as it does.

Catching my earbud cord on a doorknob and having it ripped from my ear.

Grocery store etiquette. GTFO of the middle of the aisle! This can’t be your first time shopping!

People who use speakerphone in public.

When I bite into a delicious sandwich and all the insides fall out of the other end. I call this Sandwich Rage.

Fucking flies. I’m generally pretty chill, but as soon as a fly buzzes by my head I lose my shit.

reddit

Add “ing” to the end of a movie title, what is the movie about now?

La La Landing. The harrowing tale of the first Teletubby to walk on the moon.

Wоrld War Zing. An apocalyptic tale оf a world overrun by crushing one-liners…
Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger…
I think you mean starring Matthew Perry.

The Land Before Timing. A very awkward and frustrating place…
It could be a documentary about a group of emerging stand up comics struggling to find their voice.

Add "ing" to the end of a movie title, what is the movie about now? from AskReddit

reddit

Historical figures as Instagram Influencers

Which historical figure would be the most obnoxious Instagram “influencer”? from r/AskReddit

Socrates. Dude loves to stir the pot
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Socrates’ instagram account would just be Plato posting stuff he heard Socrates say

Oscar Wilde. His famous quotes would seem pretty douchey as captions on Instagram photos:
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.

Henry David Thoreau – Good Lord, Henry David Thoreau would be HUGE on instagram. Like a 19th century version of today’s “all natural, all good: the simple life, the real life,” hipster-like influencers. Just endless pics of his cabin that end with #thetinylife.

Thomas Edison – what a douche. He’d constantly repost without credit

Napoleon – #winner

Rasputin – Maybe not Instagram, but Rasputin would have been an absolute Tinder fiend.

Bizarro movie ideas

You are given 300 million to make a movie but it HAS to bomb at the box office or else you die. What do you make? from r/AskReddit

Time traveling zombies that travel back in time to eat themselves, therefore stopping the outbreak before it starts
But alas, them traveling back to stop the outbreak is what caused it!
Written by M Night Shyamalan

Monopoly the movie starring Kevin Hart and The Rock as billionaire brothers that are trying to destroy each other’s real estate empires not realizing the true real estate empire is that of the heart.

Coming this summer. It’s the sequel nobody asked for, and nobody wanted.
Super Mario Bros 2.
Same cast, same plot.

A big budget epic adaptation of Finnegans Wake.

reddit

Sonder / Copenhagen


All those people in their cozy little apartments from CozyPlaces

via reddit

sonder
n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

Shibboleth

A shibboleth is any custom or tradition, particularly a speech pattern, that distinguishes one group of people (an ingroup) from others (outgroups). Shibboleths have been used throughout history in many societies as passwords, simple ways of self-identification, signaling loyalty and affinity, maintaining traditional segregation or keeping out perceived threats.

via Wikipedia

The general name for this type of thing is “Shibboleth,” after a city whose name was used that way in the Bible. Shibboleths are interesting to learn about, partly because it’s deep-cover spycraft, and partly because they words used are always whackadoodle nonsense.

In WWII, the Dutch would identify German spies by how they pronounced “Scheveningen,” a district in the Hague. The Germans pronounced the first syllable as something like the English word “chef,” while the Dutch version has a guttural “skhef” sound.

via reddit

…”everything hides and stops trying to eat you when it rains.”

Our line were small monkeys in rainforests for a lot longer than we’ve been big hominids living on open plains. Big chunks of our brains don’t even know we ever left the trees, because evolution doesn’t discard instincts that were ever useful – it just buries them under new ones.
Sleep paralysis; plus the sudden feeling like you’re falling when you’re on the edge of sleep; and the sense of comfort when we hear raindrops on leaves...all of that is from the trees. And a lot more. Fear of spiders definitely is. Big spiders specifically lethal to primates are still a part of African rainforest fauna.

Comment from discussion There must have been some crazy-dangerous bugs back when humans were evolving, because our instinct to run away when we see a creepy-crawly is strong as hell..

 

Self inflicted gaslighting – Bad Habit or Mental Exercise?

What is WoahDude?
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We are specifically made for PSYCHEDELIC CONTENT, trippy or mesmerizing stuff that will make a sober person feel stoned, or stoned person trip harder! We’re not about posting things that are merely neat or amazing, but instead, things that sort of mess with your mind, warp your reality.
Mindfucks and self-inflicted gaslighting. Or the hypnotic or mesmerising. Vivid colors, intense patterns. Mind-blowing science and philosophy. Chill or trippy music. Surrealism, absurdism and strangeness.

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Woah Dude subreddit

Write a short story using as many literary clichés as possible.

She stood in front of me as beautiful as the day is long, sending a shiver down my spine. I had fallen head over heels in love with her. However the writing was on the wall, I had always been a glass half empty kind of guy and there was no way in a million years she would ever feel the same.

She had packed her bags and stood at the terminal, merely a stones throw away from me, but I couldn’t pluck up the courage to let her know I loved her. Perhaps it was written in the stars and this is how it was meant to be. If it’s true that it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, then I guess I’m just a fool in love.

Perhaps I was barking up the wrong tree, a girl like that would never love a guy like me. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, biting my tongue.

Then it hit me – I was head over heels in love with her and couldn’t let her go. It’s now or never I told myself. I had to make a last ditch effort to persuade her to stay.

I laid my cards on the table to her, told her how I felt and asked her to look into her heart. I knew it was a long shot, but in for a penny in for a pound…
‘Just in the nick of time’ she said.

I know all that glitters isn’t gold, but surely it was better to have jumped in at the deep end than to live a life in regret? Will we live happily ever after? Only time will tell.

courtesy of:

[WP] Write a short story using as many literary clichés as possible. from r/WritingPrompts