Donate a kidney.
Getting married. I don’t regret getting married, but if my wife were to pass away or our marriage otherwise ended, I doubt I would go through the dating and getting to know them and getting married and such again. I’m too old for that, and I’m not even that old.
Farted in a board meeting.
Leaned over to get a pen out of my purse on the floor. Completely unexpected BRRRRRAAAAAPPPPP
Shocked silence from a group of uptight executives.
Haha can’t beat a good fart story. Did it smell?
Did it smell?
Smelled like Indeed.com
I don’t remember. I was so paralyzed with embarrassment afterward.
Pepper spray, did it once on a dare. I can say with 100% conviction that it works exactly as intended.
I came home hammered one night in my early twenties and decided to cook some ramen noodles. Before I set down to eat the bowl I put some Daves insanity sauce on the noodles. I had to piss real bad, so I went and did my business, forgetting to wash my hands off beforehand. I wish I would’ve because I had gotten some of the hot sauce on my fingers when I opened the hot sauce bottle. A shower didn’t help. Hell I poured milk on my junk in a last ditch effort to ease this horrible pain. One of the dumbest things I’ve done.
Been born. Fuck reincarnation I wanna chill in the afterlife.