Famous mac and cheese recipe. Don’t tell anyone but the secret ingredient is love! from r/funny
That’s hilarious. When I worked at Quiznos a lady ordered 6 bowls of chili over the phone and showed up with a big pot to pour it in
About six years ago I saw a dude do this at a tim hortons with their soup.
It was potato something or other and he’s standing there trying to explain that he forgot about a pot luck at work and how much to fill his pot up.
My friend’s husband won a chili cook-off with brisket he got from a chain BBQ restaurant. I thought that was some real bullshit, especially because we live in Texas.
My dad won a chili cook-off with chili from a can once.
I won a chili cookoff once. I was prepared for serious competition. I watched a few low production value “award winning” chili videos on Youtube by guys with thick Southern accents who sounded like they knew what they were talking about when it came to chili. I took pointers from each video and used that knowledge to make the Voltron of “award winning” chilis. It was pretty damn good chili. I would give it a solid 8. Maybe a 9.
The competition was sad and depressing. Unseasoned ground beef water with beans. I probably could have won it with a higher quality canned chili. At the very least people raved about my own entry. It vanished. I had numerous requests for the recipe.
We’re not so different you and I
I like you
Mr Bond….Have you heard the story about the fox and the stingray?
When I was a child my parents used to take me to this park to see the monkeys. One day a monkey came up and I fed it, and it attacked me. Takes a swig from his cigar. My parent never took me again, but it stuck with me. Mr. Bond stares at him. Now I have something to show you Mr. Bond. Explains entire scheme to take over the world using an army of Monkeys.
How do you take a swig from a cigar?
It’s the final thing you learn when becoming a movie villain.
takes a puff from his whiskey glass
[OC] The popularity of the name ‘Karen’ has seen a dramatic decrease within the last ten years from dataisbeautiful
My mothers name is Karen… she named me Alexa. Both our names suck now.
Ok Alexa Play me a song
Alexa: “Playing Can I Speak To The Manager?”
If, instead of rebooting movies, it became a trend to retell them from a different characters perspective, what film would you want to see retold and from who’s point of view? from r/AskReddit
The Matrix from Agent Smith’s view. Constantly trying to quell the stupid human insurrection…
Matrix but from the perspective of a regular police detective trying to stop the murder spree of these crazy people who kill everybody without reason. At one point he would interrogate Neo:
“So you believe that nothing is real? That’s why you can kill random people? Because they don’t exist?”
“No. The world is fake but the people are real.”
“And you kill them anyway?”
Mean girls, as told by Regina George
Star Wars from the empires POV: basically telling the story about this terrorist group that was planning the biggest act of terrorism in the galaxies history: the destruction of a military peacekeeping starbase.
We follow the empires anti terrorism unit as they try to find the spies transporting the stolen plans and head off the attack.
Top Gun from Iceman’s perspective. Maverick’s the asshole in that movie.
Maverick is the asshole in the original movie too.
The plot of just about every 80s Tom Cruise movie is that he’s a cocky asshole who meets a hot chick and somehow becomes a better person by the end of the movie.
… But enough about borderline cases—let’s get to the winner of the 2018 Lyttle Lytton Contest:
As I felt the vampire sexily drinking the blood from my neck, the warmth between my legs grew both in wetness and in fear for my life.
My lamestream friends told me to start dating again, but I knew the jet fuel of love couldn’t melt the steel beams of my heart.
“It looks like this continent is out of water,” I said in Antarctica, as a rookery of penguins waddled thirstily by.
Texas “Cheap Shot” Jack, the famous Newark poker player, sighed about his life. Matters of the heart—unlike the hearts he held in his hand—could not be folded so easily.