Tag: Free advice

Telling People They Look Better in Person – Not Recommended

“Wow!” the curly-haired box-office girl exclaims. “You look prettier in real life.”

Now, for the record, if you’re ever walking down the street and you see an actress you recognize in real life, and you think she looks prettier than she does in movies or on television, fight the temptation to tell her so. Because it’s not something actresses like to hear. It makes them feel insecure. But Sharon knows how pretty she is, so while it bugs her a bit, at the end of the day she doesn’t really mind.

Tarantino, Quentin. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

20 Tips to Handle the Blues / Low Spirits – Sydney Smith

In February of 1820, on learning that his good friend, Lady Georgiana Morpeth, was suffering from a bout of depression, noted essayist and clergyman Sydney Smith sent her the following precious letter, in which he listed twenty pieces of advice to help her overcome “low spirits.”

Foston, Feb. 16th, 1820
Dear Lady Georgiana,

Nobody has suffered more from low spirits than I have done – so I feel for you.

1st. Live as well as you dare.
2nd. Go into the shower-bath with a small quantity of water at a temperature low enough to give you a slight sensation of cold, 75° or 80°.
3rd. Amusing books.
4th. Short views of human life—not further than dinner or tea.
5th. Be as busy as you can.
6th. See as much as you can of those friends who respect and like you.
7th. And of those acquaintances who amuse you.
8th. Make no secret of low spirits to your friends, but talk of them freely—they are always worse for dignified concealment.
9th. Attend to the effects tea and coffee produce upon you.
10th. Compare your lot with that of other people.
11th. Don’t expect too much from human life—a sorry business at the best.
12th. Avoid poetry, dramatic representations (except comedy), music, serious novels, melancholy sentimental people, and every thing likely to excite feeling or emotion not ending in active benevolence.
13th. Do good, and endeavour to please everybody of every degree.
14th. Be as much as you can in the open air without fatigue.
15th. Make the room where you commonly sit, gay and pleasant.
16th. Struggle by little and little against idleness.
17th. Don’t be too severe upon yourself, or underrate yourself, but do yourself justice.
18th. Keep good blazing fires.
19th. Be firm and constant in the exercise of rational religion.
20th. Believe me, dear Georgiana, your devoted servant, Sydney Smith

https://lettersofnote.com/2013/07/03/live-as-well-as-you-dare/

(Source: The Selected Writings of Sydney Smith)

Life Pro Tips – r/LifeProTips

https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/top/

Texans, you are about to experience the worst potholes many of you have ever seen. Make sure your tire pressure is correct for your vehicles, drive slowly, give plenty of distance between your vehicle and the one in front of you, and don’t trust puddles. Love from Michigan.

When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. That way when you receive spam/advert emails, you will know who sold your info.

Always tell a child who is wearing a helmet how cool you think their helmet is. It will encourage them to always wear it in the future.

Your company didn’t know you existed before you applied and won’t notice you when you’re gone. Take care of yourself.

Just because you did something wrong in the past, doesn’t mean you can’t advocate against it now. It doesn’t make you a hypocrite. You grew. Don’t let people use your past to invalidate your current mindset. Growth is a concept. Embrace it.

Anytime you think about contacting an ex or old crush, rub one out first

Do not try to be the man your father would want you to be. Be the man you would like your son to be be. It more clearly defines your own convictions, desires, goals, and motivates you to be your best.

In college it is much better to be friends with the people who have the party house than it is to live at the party house.

When a friend is upset, ask them one simple question before saying anything else: ‘Do you want to talk about it or do you want to be distracted from it?’

After a bad break up, do 10 things that your ex would never do with you. You’ll feel better and realize how much of yourself was being held back.

Kindness, Worth it – George Saunders Quote

Now, why do I regret that? Why, forty-two years later, am I still thinking about it? Relative to most of the other kids, I was actually pretty nice to her. I never said an unkind word to her. In fact, I sometimes even (mildly) defended her.

But still. It bothers me.

So here’s something I know to be true, although it’s a little corny, and I don’t quite know what to do with it:

What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness.

Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded . . . sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly.

George Saunders. Advice to Graduates via NYTIMES

Over 40 and Happy – Suggestions


People who are 40+ and happy with their life, what is your advice to people in their 20s? from AskReddit

QualityKatie
Relax more. Don’t get angry over little things.

yeahwellokay
I was a raging alcoholic in my twenties and thought I would never recover from it. I never found a real job using my first degree or my masters. Part of it was because I was always drunk, part of it was the job market at the time.

I went back to school in my thirties and found something I like a whole lot more. Now, I’m married, nearly ten years sober, and have a great job.

My point is, if you end up on the wrong path or don’t like where you are, there’s always time to turn around and change it. Too many people just assume they’re stuck where they are and stuck with the issues they have.

chilledheat
I’m not sure who said it but once I read this online:

“Don’t cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.”

And i think about it all the time. Kind of relates to what you said.

NoahNoodle
Wow. This helped me a whole lot with my anxiety. I’m a 20yo school dropout because of mental illness. I have big dreams though and the thought of never achieving them makes me even more sad. But your post helped me realize that it’s not too late to turn my life around. I can go back to school after I’ve been in therapy, I can still achieve my goals.

i_am_a_toaster
It is never never never too late! Go see a doctor- find some coping strategies- alter your life choices- don’t let anxiety rule your life. I have been diagnosed and once I figured out how to live with it, all sorts of things became more…. possible. I didn’t go back to school to finish my degree until I was 28- but the key thing to remember is it is NOT over for you, and you can get there. One thing at a time.

Denaris21
I am 40 years old and I have three pieces of advice for anyone in their 20’s

Accept that perfection doesn’t exist. Your relationships will have problems, your car will break down, someone else will anyways have a better phone, a newer car, or a bigger house than you, no matter where on the social ladder you stand. Constantly chasing perfection will keep you permanently stressed. That doesn’t mean you should not try to better your life, just know that if you expect perfection you will never be statisfied.

Pay attention to your diet and health. I have been working out at least 4 times per week since my mid 20’s. I am fitter, healthier and look younger than almost everyone else my age

Don’t stop doing the things you love. Even though I have a wife, kids, job etc. I still make time to play video games, draw, write stories, read comics, play basketball, listen to music, etc. There is no reason to become a miserable old bastard!

What is a useful app if I am visiting San Francisco?

munimobile2

The official mobile ticketing app from San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency! The MuniMobile app lets you purchase and use fares and passes instantly on your phone—anywhere, anytime. Just download the free app, register your debit/credit card in our secure system, and you’re ready to go.

I downloaded it and bought a day pass. Rode the SF light rail from one end of the town to the other. Easy.

Google Play

Walking with confidence. Mark Salzman Anecdote

I picked up an envelope that had to be hand-delivered and stalked out of the building. I was in one of those moods where you are so frustrated you forget where you are for long stretches of time, carrying on imaginary conversations in which you try so hard to defend or explain yourself that you even start talking out loud without realizing it. I was doing exactly that when I heard a quiet, firm voice say, “That’s a poor walk, young man.”

I stopped in my tracks. Was it in my head or did somebody actually talk to me? I turned around and saw an extremely old man wearing a black felt hat, a full-length black wool coat and black shoes polished to a mirror finish. He was standing in front of the library as if waiting for someone to pick him up. He stood ramrod-straight had his gaze fixed directly in front of him.

Continue reading “Walking with confidence. Mark Salzman Anecdote”