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televisionwithoutpity
From Wikipedia :
Television Without Pity (often abbreviated TWoP) was a website that provided detailed recaps of select television dramas, situation comedies and reality TV shows along with discussion forums. These recaps were written with sarcastic criticism and opinion alongside a retelling of an episode’s events, which the site referred to as “snark“. Their official motto is “Spare the snark, spoil the networks”, a takeoff on “spare the rod, spoil the child”, and its mascot is Tubeelzebub (a portmanteau of tube and Beelzebub, “Tubey” for short), a devilish television set with horns and a pointed tail.
From Dawson’s Creek Season 1 ep 2 recap:
Cut to the Sanctum Dawsonorum; Joey clicks off the TV in the middle of the scene we’ve just watched, and Dawson works on a fake head with makeup and tells Joey she’s “going to have to” kiss Pacey, because the movie “doesn’t work without the kiss — it’s a love story.” Joey corrects him, “It’s a horror movie, Dawson.” Dawson in turn corrects Joey, “It’s an homage with a heavy allegorical slant.” “Homage”? “Allegorical”? Mark those Sars Maalox Scorecards at “1 minute 10 seconds,” folks. Joey, to her credit, rolls her eyes and flops back on Dawson’s bed and calls Pacey “un-kiss-worthy,” and Dawson says manipulatively, “Do it for me?” and Joey says she doesn’t “want to regurgitate on-camera — why don’t you kiss him?” Dawson, coyly: “‘Cause my lips are reserved for someone else.” Joey asks if he and Jen have kissed yet, to which Dawson smugly responds, “There’s no need to rush fate.” Joey advises Dawson not to “wait an eternity” because Jen comes from New York “where things tend to move faster.” Dawson theorizes that Jen will therefore find it “enchanting to meet a strapping young man who doesn’t have sex on the brain.” Another eye-roll from Joey, along with the skeptical comment “if it helps you sleep at night.” Dawson reminds Joey that Jen “is a self-proclaimed virgin.” “For another second,” Joey snipes. Dawson defends Jen as “a bright, intelligent young woman who is clearly in charge of her own body.” Joey shoots back, “I’m not suggesting leather straps and Crisco, just a kiss.” Dawson, who hasn’t looked up from the fake head once during this convo, announces, “Jen and I will kiss, don’t you worry. Question is, will your lips ever find Pacey’s?” Joey votes for “an extensive rewrite.” Dawson: “Well, that’s too bad, ’cause you definitely have kissing lips.” Joey (and Sars): “What?” Dawson turns the head around to reveal a replica of Joey, then suggests that Joey get through the kiss with Pacey by closing her eyes and thinking about someone else. Joey slumps down on a pillow and looks sidelong at Dawson. Dawson arches a brow and says, “Explain to me the Crisco.” Well, Dawson, it might help ease the passage of your giant head out of your ass. Just a thought.
Credits. Paula Cole ululating.
