Lloyd Christmas: [addressing Mary] I’m crazy about you. I’ve never felt this way about anybody.

Lloyd Christmas: [laughs nervously] Listen to me! I feel like a schoolboy again. A schoolboy who desperately wants to make sweet, sweet love to you.

Mary Swanson: [Mary comes into the room, making it clear to viewers that Lloyd’s previous words were just a rehearsal] I thought I heard you talking to someone.

Lloyd Christmas: [now extremely nervous] Mary… I… I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy.

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