Pam: Sex with you is really a Kafka-esque experience.
Alvy Singer: Oh. Thank you.
Pam: I mean that as a compliment.
Alvy Singer: Don’t you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we’re left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.
[Alvy questions an old man on the street about his sex life]
Alvy Singer: With your wife in bed, does she need some kind of artificial stimulation, like, like marijuana?
Old man on street: We use a large vibrating egg.
Alvy Singer: [walking away] Well, you ask a psychopath for advice, that’s what happens…
Alvy Singer: My grammy never gave gifts. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.
Annie Hall: You’re seeing an analyst?
Alvy Singer: Just for 15 years. I’m giving him one more year and then I’m going to Lourdes.