Literally Everything Should Connect To The Internet
…Then there’s the Griffin Connected Toaster ($99), which sends a notification to your smartphone when your toast is done. Perfect for those who can’t hear the sound of the toaster while swimming in their giant money bin. For some real Star Trek meets Idiocracy shit, the toaster can also pair with the upcoming Griffin Connected Mirror (estimated at $1,000), which displays the weather, news headlines, and toast readiness while you brush your teeth. So much more convenient than glancing at your phone.
There are even smart flip-flops, which pair with an app to send you “special offers” (ads) as you walk around. Not even the makers seem able to justify this. Onvi is developing a toothbrush that films the inside of your mouth and beams the footage to your phone, presumably to market to some fetish community we haven’t heard of. And if you’re thinking Silicon Valley can go shove this tech up their ass, don’t worry. They literally can with the Kinsa Smart Stick rectal thermometer ($125). You simply connect the thermometer to your phone via the headphone jack, and it displays the results through an app! Just, uh, make sure you plug each side into the right hole.